IDENTITY

            I made it to Montana! It feels like I’ve been here a month and I’m not quite sure if that’s a good or bad thing.  I recently learned it was called “The Treasure State” and thought it quite fitting.  Not because of the silver and gold that was found here centuries ago, but because of the precious treasure I’ve been finding in God’s Word.

            I experienced God in a whole new way this week and my mind is still reeling from it.  Our guest speaker and his family began praying over our names before they arrived here on campus. God gave them each a picture or word about us. The last night they were here, they prayed over each one of us privately and shared the vision God had given them.  I doubt the specific visions would mean anything to anyone else but to me they spoke directly to my heart.  Things that I had never told anyone—things a complete stranger couldn’t possibly know—were represented in those pictures.  I always had knowledge that God knew my heart and cared about my deepest feelings, but I never fully comprehended what that meant.  It’s easy to know what’s going on in my own head and think “Sure, God knows and understands me”, but there was something about God using other people to speak to my inner thoughts that gave me more insight into just how deeply He really does know and love me.

Our guest lecturer spoke on identity this week.  He explained that we all tend to live in “Orphan Shadows” or lives defined by the sins and struggles we deal with day to day.  For example, an “Orphan Shadow” could be the mindset that “I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, I’m useless, no one likes me, etc.” These thoughts become our identity.  However, this is not how God views us.  Matthew 18: 2-4 says we are to become like little children.  Many people (myself included) look at this verse and think “I need to be innocent and pure like little children”.   While this is true, the speaker had us look at it in a different way: Children are NEEDY. They need to be taken care of.  They can’t handle things on their own.  They need constant guidance. Ephesians 1:5 says “He predestined us to be adopted as His sons…” Our identity is not what we do or what we think; it’s simply this: We are His children.

            Children have 4 basic needs: belonging, significance, provision, and protection.  Satan tries to convince us that we have to find our own ways to meet these needs and that our identity is in who likes us, what our accomplishments are, etc.  He referenced these needs while tempting Jesus in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1-10).  But we can’t build our identities on our own gifting, only on Christ.  We are meant to be vitally connected to our Father God like an infant.  If we walk with Him constantly and rely on Him for every need we experience, we can step out of our “Orphan Shadows”.

            I have learned so much already just in this first week and I’m super excited to find out what God is going to teach me in the weeks to come! Thanks for your prayers!